on love, cuz why not?
a recipe worth sticking to. a task to carry out. a process to surrender to. a knowing worth waiting for. a redemption we must choose.
The incomparable bell hooks reenvisions love for us. All About Love is a timeless treasure I will never grow weary of (and i still haven’t finished it lol). To take love, peel back its layers, savor the sweet and the sour, and then introduce us to—what feels like—a new fruit entirely could not have been an easy task. her labor of love was giving us a grander definition.
Here are some (out of many) quotes that move me.
I implore you to take a quote that may resonate with you and just reflect, sit, ponder, or write it down! Let it marinate for the week. If you would like a head start/some help on reflection…
Ponder:
What “facet” or area of love is hardest for me, lately? (communication, friendship, self, family, serving others, community, spiritual practice, honesty, etc. )
What is one way today—simply—I can strengthen that area of struggle?
ex: I’ve been struggling to take care of my body. Today, I will have a bedtime routine and be in bed by 10:30…11 at the latest.
ex: I typically believe the lie that withholding my true feelings that I think will cause conflict with another means to keep peace. Today, I will be honest— not only to the person who may have upset me, but, most importantly to myself, first. (this isn’t really simple but I wanted to give a deeper example).
Happy Black History & Love Month Folks!
Read Black books. Support Black business. Listen to Black friends—Black people.
Not just this month. Not just for one year. Forever.
Choose love today. Share if you’d like!
—Jayeesha
“To love well is the task in all meaningful relationships, not just romantic bonds.”
“To truly love we must learn to mix various ingredients - care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, and trust, as well as honest and open communication.”
“Choosing to be honest is the first step in the process of love. There is no practitioner of love who deceives. Once the choice has been made to be honest, then the next step on love's path is communication.”
“We fear that evaluating our needs and then carefully choosing partners will reveal that there is no one for us to love. Most of us prefer to have a partner who is lacking than no partner at all. What becomes apparent is that we may be more interested in finding a partner than in knowing love.”
*oof she really came for our necks with this one likeeee. straight up called us out for settling for cheap love because we fear we are unworthy of what’s true and pure—and honestly because we are impatient*
“To return to love, to get the love we always wanted but never had, to have the love we want but are not prepared to give, we seek romantic relationships. We believe these relationships, more than any other, will rescue and redeem us. True love does have the power to redeem but only if we are ready for redemption. Love saves us only if we want to be saved.”
I’m thinking of starting a conversation thread soon and talking more about love and the ways we’ve learned about its many, many facets and how it requires so much from of us. Sooo be on the lookout!
I really want to read this book!